If you have studied a foreign language, or read my blog post on high v. low context cultures, you know that learning a new language is much more than word-by-word translations.
There are three questions that every Peace Corps volunteer here in Indonesia has come to know well:
“Mau ke mana?” (Where are you going?)
“Sudah mandi?” (Have you bathed yet?)
“Sudah makan?” (Have you eaten yet?)
When I was first learning Indonesian (almost 1 year ago!), and I realized what people were asking me, I was a little offended. I felt like these questions were intrusive and, frankly, not the business of my neighbors and random people passing me on the street.
Only later did I learn that these three questions are the equivalent to our “How are you?”
They are expressions of caring, concern, and curiosity.
In fact, an Indonesian who works for PC once explained that he was surprised the first time he went to Australia and people kept asking, “How are you?” His reaction was, What if I say I’m sick? Will you take me to the hospital? In his mind, “How are you?” was not only intrusive, but also rather pointless.
A fellow volunteer told me that her high school students put it this way: If their boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t ask them about whether or not they have eaten and bathed, they will feel uncared for.
I had assumed that these people were being nosey and somewhat rude, when they were actually being sincere and polite. Basically, even though I understood the surface meaning of these three basic questions, my assumptions about them were the exact opposite of their true meaning.
And thus, language and culture meet – fascinating, right?
I can’t say that I joined the “Mau ke mana?” train all at once, but almost a year into my time here in Indonesia, I notice myself using it more and more. Sometimes I still ask people how they are or what’s new, but sometimes I switch it up. I ask the kids riding their bikes where they are going. I ask my neighbors if they have bathed yet – sounds weird, I know.
And some days, I am rewarded with a treat. Like yesterday when I met a very, very old woman on my way home from school. She asked if I was going home, and I replied that I was. She told me she was coming from the rice seller, and showed me her basket full of rice. Then, both smiling, we parted ways, and that was it.
Where is the beauty in that, you ask? In the fact that it was the most natural, casual conversation – the fact that even though she is old and Indonesian and I am young and American, we effectively communicated our care, concern, and curiosity towards one another.
May you show some care to those around you today.
Worth a Journey 